I believe I had to travel an unconventional path towards success. To me, the roadmap of my journey was different from many others.

I was not a scholar. I was not beautiful. I was not well-favored. I grew up in a poor community like many others but suffered lack in manners perhaps difficult to imagine in a prosperous country.

My personal identify was lost in my family of ten. I had to adjust my life to so many people and circumstances, until I never really gained a true sense of myself or fully learned my likes or dislikes. My mindset was my family’s mindset. My mannerism was my family’s mannerism. And my convictions were my family’s convictions. Nothing was ever personal or from me. If I spoke any feelings of my own, my interpretation was wrong or incorrect so I learned how to live quietly in the background.

Regarding my personal life, I kinda always went with the flow but with regards to my dreams and goals, I was always ambitious. I sought for opportunities not readily available to me and figured out how to become a part of a community that was not quite designed for me. I benefited from knowledge others did not want and took advantage of being found in the right place at the right time. I understood my future was greater than any of the opportunities presented before me so I sought temporary jobs and nothing long-term. I sought after knowledge and skills and never after money.

I married at the age of 24 and much like my demeanor growing up, whether I liked something or not, I simply adjusted to my situation. Rather than engaging in it, I treated marriage more as a checklist; and focused on trying to be perfect and trying get my part right. By the age of 30, I got a glimpse of the true me and I was divorced by the age of 32.

In the process of rebuilding my life, I became dedicated to my standards and not engaging in romantic relationships until I learned myself. Through every event good or bad, I sought to identify what I liked about it and what I did not like about it; what bothered me and why was I bothered. I learned the expressions of my emotions and through my words I created pictures of them.

Impeded opportunities forced me to tread new paths.

Now I know, if you do not know who you are, then you’ll think anything belongs to you. If you do not know what you are made of, then you’ll never know what can damage you. People can destroy you and you never realize it.

The beginning of my journey is not where I stand today, but I hope the words I leave, will one day help others reach their greatest potential despite their start.

-Nicole A. Jones

An Unconventional Path to Finding Myself

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